Someone once told me that if you put a live frog in a pot of water and heat the water slowly, the frog will not move. It will not, at any point, realise the water has got too hot and get out; it will just happily sit there until it boils to death. The frog is incapable of detecting the change in temperature because it happens gradually.
We might think the frog is unbelievably stupid. If we were sitting in a bath tub, and the water started boiling, we would jump out, right?
Or would we?
Often we don’t notice change either. We might notice if someone started boiling our bath water, but do we notice when a relationship gradually turns abusive? Do we notice as we slowly slip into a damaging habit? Do we notice as that job we wanted so much becomes routine and boring? At what point do we notice we are eating too much; when we first eat too much, or when our trousers no longer fit?
Where in your life are you behaving like that silly frog? Where have things got to an unbearable, unacceptable level so slowly that you have barely noticed the change? What are you accepting as ‘normal’ that is actually damaging, dangerous, or just plain wrong?
What is the heat in your bath tub? Is it a bad habit, which started small and has escalated to the point where it controls you? Is it a once good relationship that has become abusive? Is it a job or a group of friends that have become a drain on you? Is it a life which has gone from bad to worse so slowly you have just come to accept it?
Do you need to move on, to make a change?
You may not know you are a frog in the bath-tub, until you get out. If that hot water you are in has become normal to you, not only will you be happy to stay in it, but anything else will seem cold. Often people will stay in abusive relationships for fear of being alone. When we give up a bad habit, there can be an empty feeling until or unless we find something to replace it with. We can miss someone even if all they ever did was hurt us. But in all these situations change is necessary or things will just go from bad to worse. So make the effort; get out of that boiling water! The long term result for the frog is life, or death. It could just be the same for you